Frequently Asked Questions
How do I know I'm a sex addict?
One way of knowing is looking honestly at your life and sexual behaviors. Has acting out sexually caused your life to be unmanageable? Have you acted out despite knowing it was wrong or dangerous or risky? Getting into trouble, or the fear of getting into trouble over our sex addiction is what has brought most of us here.
If you are unsure whether you may be a sex addict we suggest you complete the self assessment appearing on the page entitled "Are You a Sex Addict?" on the official website of Sex Addicts Anonymous ®.
What are the requirements for attending my first meeting?
The only requirement to join SAA is a desire to stop compulsive and addictive sexual behavior. You may attend your first meeting even if you are unsure whether you may be a sex addict. There are no specific requirements for newcomers, but we do have traditions and formats that every member and meeting attendee must follow:
Tradition Twelve states that "anonymity is the spiritual foundation of all our traditions, ever reminding us to place principles before personalities." To keep SAA meetings a safe place, who you see and what you hear at SAA meetings is strictly confidential and must remain within the confines of your mind.
Tradition Seven states that "every SAA group ought to be fully self-supporting, declining outside contributions." Newcomers are not expected to make a contribution at their first meeting. SAA has no dues or fees, however, each meeting has expenses such as room rent and SAA literature. At the end of every meeting a basket is passed around to collect voluntary contributions.
Every meeting has a format. If it is your first meeting, it is important that you pay close attention to the format presented by the group leader and follow it to the best of your ability. If you have any questions about the format, we encourage you to ask the group leader during or after the meeting.
What do I need to do to get better?
SAA is a program of actions. In SAA we work the twelve steps, attend meetings and become of service to others in an effort to improve ourselves and abstain from compulsive and addictive sexual behaviors. Every member is in charge of his/her own recovery with the twelve steps as their program.
What is a sponsor?
A sponsor is someone you can not only work through the 12 steps with but also someone you can reach out to in a time of need. Sponsors serve as guides along the path to recovery and can help you deal with the inevitable challenges of abstaining from destructive or unhealthy sexual behavior.
How do I find a sponsor?
There are no formal guidelines for finding a sponsor. We would suggest attending meetings and becoming familiar with other members, making use of the meeting phone list to reach out and sharing that you are looking for a sponsor. Never be afraid to ask, but remember to be patient as many times the teacher will appear when the student is ready.
Should I be concerned about incriminating myself?
Yes. If you've done something illegal that involves sex with a minor, rape, or engaging in unsafe sex, please be discreet. The general rule is to not mention names, relationships, times, and locations of incidents. This is to protect yourself as well as the meeting and SAA from outside interference.
Do I have to talk at the meeting?
No. We encourage you to listen to what others have to share and try to IDENTIFY. Share when you feel the desire to share.